Hi, My name is AnnaMarie, I am 31 years old and in the Spring of 2004, my boyfriend at the time and I were diagnosed with HPV. Our particular strain of HPV has visible warts. This was a very shocking diagnosis to me because while I knew he had a cluster of something downtown, he informed me at the beginning of our sexual relationship that the doctor told him it was not contagious and was from repeated masturbation. Obviously, I believed his story at face value.

Two years into our relationship, at my annual pap, the nurse informed me that I had a little condyloma and that they could easily remove it with a cream. Nothing was said about HPV or genital warts at this time either. I figured that condyloma was a medical term for ingrown vaginal hair or pimple. Since it wasn't painful and I couldn't see it, I went about my business and figured that I'd deal with it if and when it became painful.

One year later, my boyfriend's clusters became painful and we promptly went off to the doctors office to have them removed. The doctor took one look at his genitals and informed both of us that he had genital warts. Our lovely family doctor then informed me that they were highly contagious and I should be scheduled for a pap test ASAP to see if I had them as well. I informed him that I had a few little condylomas and that they would be taken care of at our local family planning clinic. My doctor then informed me that condyloma is a nice fancy medical term for Genital Warts. I was absolutely floored. My boyfriend then set up his appointment to have them removed.

One week later, we showed up at the doctors office to have his removal procedure. My boyfriend is a very private person and doesn't like to have just anyone viewing his parts, so he asked the doctor if I could assist him rather then a nurse. The doctor agreed to this proposal, so I stood there and held his hand with one hand and his parts with the other while the doctor cut and burned his warts away. I have a very weak stomach for blood and skin and stuff, and the 2 months following this procedure I was unable to eat any meat of any type.

Following his removal procedure, I was very upset. I couldn't stop crying and being angry. I have a severe phobia of needles of any kind and the thought of them in my “hoo hoo” was unbearable to me. My boyfriend became my ex soon after his removal procedure. His choice, not mine. Our split had nothing to do with the HPV.

I decided that I couldn't live with this STD and not know what it was, so I started looking online for answers to the seemingly endless supply of questions I had. It was through yoshi2me.com that I found Picking Up the Pieces (PUP). I dove right in, introduced myself to the Moderators, not even expecting to have my initial email posted that night. I cried the whole time I typed, as if the actual typing of the issues at hand made it more real to me. I found it very hard to understand that the man I loved had given me an incurable STD. I feared being alone for the rest of my life. I was unable to function, crying all the time and at every little thing.

It was through PUP that I was given the knowledge to approach my parents and ask if I had ever been diagnosed with HSV. My mother informed me that “Yes, you were diagnosed back in 1977 with that..” Wow, we are talking 27 y ears ago. So finally I had a medical term for those pesky annoying cold sores I've had all my life. No one in my family ever mentioned herpes to me. Even 27 years later, my mother does not want to discuss the issue of herpes and refuses to tell me where I got them. At 3 it's hard to remember anything, I don't even remember being hospitalized for my initial outbreak.

I started to just completely lose myself in depression. I refused to even leave the house other then to go to work. When it reached the point where I was refusing to go to work, my best friend gave me a verbal smack in the head and I realized at this time that I had learned to live with the cold sores and knowing they were herpes didn't really change them for me. I had been living with 1 virus for as long as I could remember, I could live with another. It was time for me to some heavy research. It was through sites like yoshi2me.com and PUP that I gained the strength and knowledge to stand up and admit to people that yes, I have Herpes and Genital Warts.

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