Let me take you on a medical journey through my life.

COLLEGE --The summer between my freshman and sophomore years in college my boyfriend (my 2^nd partner) and I had sex for the first time in our relationship.  When I returned from visiting him, I had to go to the doctor for a bladder infection.  My doctor decided to do a pap smear since I’d never had one.  I was totally mortified (he was a male doctor) and cried and cried.  My mother was in the room and talked to the nurse and told her I had never had one.  The nurse dismissed my concerns by saying it was no big deal.  How comforting!  NOT!

A week later the nurse called with my results—abnormal because of HPV.  I’d never even heard of it.  I had to go see my mother’s gynecologist for a colposcopy.    My mother was very angry at the original doctor because he wouldn’t share any information with her because of my age.  How could I explain to her had an STD?  She knew I was sexually active.  I did tell her, and she was very supportive as was my boyfriend.  We went together to student health for him to get checked.

I went through feeling dirty and damaged.  No matter what my boyfriend did I pushed him away.  I became severely depressed and dreaded the day I would have to tell other partners about my HPV.  I had no interest in sex.

Through my research I discovered that an abnormal pap smear wasn’t a definite test for HPV.  For years, I never had any warts or another abnormal pap.  I wondered if there had been a mistake.  Ten years after my diagnosis, a new HPV DNA test was developed.    The test came back negative for all strains of HPV.  I was so angry I couldn’t see straight.  Had I been misdiagnosed?  Would my life have been different?  Recent research, however, taught me that I was possibly one of the people who rid themselves of HPV.

BACK PROBLEMS—When I was 28 years old, I again thought I had a bladder infection.  For three months, I went to tons of doctors, took tons of medication that didn’t help.  No one would listen.  I had just finished my master’s and was looking for jobs and moving to another town.  Who needed the stress of a health issue on top of it?

I finally found a doctor who cared.  She found a herniated disk in my back.  For three years after, I endured daily pain and severe limits to my activities even with various therapies.  A few years ago I had surgery to remove the disk.  I got my life back, started looking for jobs, moved to NC, and was ready to find a serious relationship after five years of rarely dating.

NEW LIFE IN NC--Little did I know the first guy I dated after I moved to NC would give me herpes from oral sex (December 2005).  Geez!  I get through the abnormal pap and HPV and back surgery only to get herpes.  I knew I could handle this skin condition because I already knew how to tell potential partners about having and STD.

After the HPV in college, I became an advocate about educating friends and students about STD’s.  I got tested before and after every partner and used condoms for safer sex. However, I didn’t know as much about herpes as I thought and learned quite a bit from reading the information on the  yoshi2me.com website.  I never knew that there was a blood test for herpes.  Asymptomatic shedding and genital HSV 1 were news to me as well.

A few weeks after my herpes diagnosis, I met a great guy (or so I thought).  I knew I could get physical with him fairly quickly.  He seemed to be understanding, and I gave him all the information I could.  He offered to get tested for STD’s before I had to ask.  However, his doctor didn’t do all the tests I listed because he told him there would be symptoms if he had them.  He believed his doctor even after all the education I’d given him, and he didn’t tell me he wasn’t tested for some STD’s or given a visual examination.

A few months later, he decided not to use condoms.  At the same time though, he would freak out afterward about getting herpes and tell me I was “less marketable” because of my herpes.  To top it off, I started having all kinds of female infections.  When I noticed some genital warts on him, I immediately sent him to the health department.

A few months later, I had some warts develop and had an abnormal pap (June 2006).  I was devastated.  So far I’ve had a biopsy and two acid treatments.  Dealing with the warts has been very difficult.  At least I know when a herpes outbreak is coming on and that it will go away.   I’m working on how I deal with the emotional side of having warts.

You can have a wonderful life with herpes and HPV.  Become an advocate for yourself.  If you don’t like your treatment, you have the right and the choice to find new healthcare.  This goes for any health condition.  If you don’t speak up for yourself, who will?

Please feel free to email me!  I’m also active on the message board as pinktopaz.  I’m here to support you. - Ashley